Monkeys are Smart

Day Six: 2/17 – Chiang Rai, Myanmar (Burma), Laos
Title: Monkeys are smart

Hello everybody. Welcome to day five of the blog. Dad and I are currently in the midst of another great adventure :~> Today’s schedule initially included a trip to the “Golden Triangle”. The Golden Triangle is representative of the proximate area adjoining Thailand, Laos and Burma. It is called the Golden Triangle because in the early seventies there was a large drug exchange between the three countries. During this time poppies were grown in Laos, exported to Burma for drug production and then sold into the drug market in Thailand. The “Golden” portion of the name references the money made in the drug trade and the “Triangle” represents the geographical layout of the countries. Initially we were not going to travel into Burma and Laos but I made an executive decision to go, driven by the fact that I need more pins in my map ;~>

Our morning started early. We were up and out the door by 7 am. The drive from Chiang Mai to the northern part of Thailand is a solid three hours. I spent this time sleeping and looking out the window. I almost got us rear-ended with one of my excited exclamations that we had to stop to take a hoop picture.

At roughly ten o’clock we arrived on the Thailand Myanmar border. I don’t know when “Burma” became “Myanmar” but Burma is more fun to say (and presumably more fun to read), so I am going to stick with it. The politics of crossing the border are quite interesting. Basically you just bribe the customs officer and promise to come back by 5pm Thai time. You have great incentive to come back because the custom’s officer holds your passport. It is interesting that no one ever looked at us and the picture in our passports at the same time. I think this may have to do with the fact that we are clearly westerners and maybe even more specifically Americans. It also might be because we were with a tour guide. Having Owr with us was definitely a blessing today because we didn’t have to worry about playing the game right. He knew exactly what to do and took care of everything for us.

Burmese time is a half hour behind Thai time. I always thought that all places had the same “minutes” on a clock… just different hours. Clearly that is not the case. You learn something new everyday.

Owr’s first words about Burma (with the exception of the time change) were a strong warning not to give anything to little begging kids other than a stern no. Within my first two literal steps into Burma a little kid tried to beg my Coke Zero off me. He even used the word “sip”. Seeing these kids is so sad. It literally breaks your heart. The worst part is that you know, short of a miracle, their lives are NOT going to change. Burma is not the US. The kids don’t have a system to educate them. The kids don’t have examples of people like them doing great things. It would seem that everyone in the society just accepts their lot in life. They don’t work to change it because it is what it is. Writing this I think about how sad it makes me that they don’t appear to have hope. Thinking of hope brings up the subjects of faith and love. Sadly I don’t think they have much of those either. All of you should take a moment today and thank whomever it is you thank for being an American (or an Italian or German ;~). We really are all very blessed to have been born in a part of the world where we can be anything we want.

Okay on to happier subjects…

Once getting through the little kids Owr found a tuk tuk to take us for a little ride. I’d like you all to imagine sitting in a vibrating massage chair in The Sharper Image. Now imagine the chair is on top of a running washing machine filled with different sized rocks. Now imagine the chair and washing machine are on an active airport runway. That’s what riding in a tuk tuk in Burma feels like. The seat vibrates violently. The vibration is augmented by the rocks on the road and the occasional pothole. Finally, it smells like diesel and is quite windy. We got off the tuk tuk roughly five hours ago. My feet are still vibrating ;~>

We took the tuk tuk to a temple that felt like Las Vegas. It had florescent spinning pinwheel lights placed over the three Buddhas’ heads. Next to the temple was a basketball hoop. It’s not an awesome picture but I like the fact that I now have a hoop picture from yet another country.

Next we went to see the something or other (I think that is the official title ;~) Long Neck People. Picture the people on the National Geographic cover with the gold rings on their necks. Now you have been there too.

Our final stop in Burma was the street market by the border. Evidently a lot of Thai people like to cross the border with the expressed purpose of shopping. The prices are cheaper on the Burmese side but the quality of the products is not as good as those in Thailand. Dad got offered “Viagra” (it is actually fake stuff from China according to Owr) more times than I care to remember. I suppose I don’t look too young for dad since the Burmese are known for selling 12 year-olds into the sex-trade. We were also offered an endless number of the playing cards used in Iraq that feature the “most wanted” terrorists. The line “you no like Sadam!?!” was used countless times.

Around 1 p.m. we crossed back into Thailand and ate a quick lunch at a local hotel. It wasn’t particularly good or bad but we had a fun conversation with Owr about how he thinks the French are rude. Evidently they are the toughest clientele with whom to work. I can’t say I am surprised. After lunch we were off to Laos.

Laos borders Thailand to the East. The Mekong River separates Laos from Thailand at the Golden Triangle. Upon arrival (on the Thai side) we went to the “Opium House (Museum)”. I liked the way the sign was written. It had the above quoted parenthesis… just to emphasize that it is not a place to go and get high. They do have models, in the museum, however, and those things are scary. If I were a little Thai kid and saw their models I would NEVER try opium. Attached is a picture so that you can share in my fear.

After the museum we made a quick stop by another ginormous golden Buddha. This was actually pretty cool looking. It has big elephants and was built on a brightly colored model ship. It sits on the edge of the Mekong, so it fits the scenery very well. Below this Buddha we boarded a long boat and set off for Laos. This boat was similar to the one we took in the canals near Bangkok. Something I found disconcerting was that our driver wore a helmet. I don’t know about you all but it makes me nervous when I board a moving vessel where the driver has more safety equipment than I do.

As we were heading out on the river with the wind in our hair, dad made an observation. While it’s not a new fact to me… it may be a new fact to some of you. Therefore this will serve as the Doctor P fun fact of the day. Our conversation in movie script form:

John: I REALLY like rivers.
Katy: I know.

We arrived in Laos within five or ten minutes of departing our Thai “port” (aka a dock). Laos was more of the same in terms of the market environment. The child beggars in Laos were as equally bad as those in Burma. Again you just feel sorry for the kids and blessed for your own situation. At one point the thought crossed my mind that “the clothes I am wearing are likely worth more than these kids will make in 20 years.” And I am not included my $8,000 accessory (my insulin pump) in that math. I’ll take my disease and my life in America any day.

There were two pretty cool things that we saw in Laos. One was what Owr translated as a “Bear Dog”. It looked like a baby brown bear with a dog like face. Owr doesn’t know the scientific name but I’ll try and research it. I think that Ryan and Robin should get one for the farm ;~> However, be sure not to get him hooked on beer. The Laos bear is rumored to be an alcoholic… seriously. They also had two caged monkeys. One of them was hilarious. I was holding a virtually empty coke-light can (shocking I know). The monkey wanted it… badly. When dad told me I shouldn’t give it to him, I knew I should.

It took me a little while to determine my strategy for giving the can to the monkey. I decided it best to not directly hand it to him because he was fairly aggressive. Instead I put the can on a piece of wood in very close proximity to the top of the cage. The monkey climbed the cage and grabbed the can within an instant of my setting the can down. He then proceeded to set it on top of the cage, flip it upside down and drink the approximately two teaspoons of liquid the can contained. Monkeys are flipping smart. I liked that guy. I think I am going to build a monkey cage adjacent to the dotcha… Joe, keep that in the back of your mind for the design plans ;~>

Our day concluded by returning to Chiang Rai. Dad and I had our best Thai meal yet. It was really good. I had phad thai yet again… it was the best I have ever eaten. That seems to be a recurring theme… the phad thai just gets better and better. I also had a pork and pineapple dish. It was packed with fresh flavors. It actually tasted similar to Phoenix and Dragons (a dish my mom makes). We then wandered around the streets a little. We plan to make it an early night because we are up early yet again tomorrow. We need to drive 3+ hours back to Chiang Mai to catch our flight to Phuket.

I hope you all have a blessed Sunday. Be sure to watch and on cheer on Jeff Quinney for me. It’s killing me that I can’t see him play in the final group!

Katy